Emptiness

It's just so intriguing and interesting when we observe how we think about the actions we take, differ completely when took in respect to others and ourselves. Like how our actions are a reflection of our personality, our various needs and the ways we express our innermost feelings. Being a student who is constantly torn between trying to study hard for entrance examinations and keeping up with the expectations of the society, doing something other than the usual routine is a challenge in itself. But even in this mess I manage to get myself confused about, what’s happening and why am I the person going through all of this?  One such thought leads to another and eventually I started to ponder upon my actions while looking at my friend; how he has everything going in a perfect manner like attending all class lectures and exams, taking all the efforts required to do well. But when I talk to him about studying, deep down inside I feel empty, inferior…. maybe even a bit jealous. I know that comparing yourself to others never brings out the best in you rather you end up hurting yourself and yet I can’t seem to push away this feeling of not being enough, the feeling of being inferior. Maybe that's because I'm the kind of person who always wants to see everyone happy, but is actually lonely inside, who needs that same love, care and faith.

       Many times it occurs to me about how i always try to help people, in need of the same love and care which i need, the same support that i offer to people, the faith i keep in them, the texts like, "it's okay, you're going to be fine, we'll figure out something, i'll tryand help you out." are actually the same things that i desire for. No matter how much we try taking our responsibilities, accepting our problems, taking actions on our own, it always doesn't work that way. sometimes you need that support, that little extra push from your ;loved ones, that trust, faith and love from others, the assurance that " I'm there with you, I'll help you out."     

      You must’ve heard that humans are social beings which points out to the fact that we communicate with others to share our feelings. It’s always better to live for something than being alone for the rest of our lives. To experience all those unseen acts of love, friendship and every other relationship that comes along the lines it’s necessary to break down the self-built wall of insecurity and get out there and interact with people. And sometimes the people you trust the most, you love the most are the ones you set your eyes upon to make you feel the same. But when they don’t live up to our expectations, even though we know that it's not their fault because they do not understand it completely or are unable to express themselves completely and no matter how much we appreciate their efforts they take for us, deep down inside we feel disappointed. And that's where it all begins, you can’t seem to understand that emptiness and so you try your best to help out the ones you know who are suffering from the same situation and you try your best to give them happiness, care, faith, trust, love and that support of being there with you and doing all those small acts of kindness, love, trust to make them feel loved, not lonely as you’re the person who understands it completely.